What to do when things wobble: a practical module for lapse management

lapse management plan Feb 27, 2026

Quick takeaway: Lapses happen. They don’t mean you’ve failed. What matters is how prepared you are to respond — not how hard you punish yourself afterwards. This module teaches simple, practical steps to stop a slide early, stabilise quickly if a lapse occurs, and learn from what happened so you don’t repeat it.

A lapse can feel catastrophic: “That’s it - I’m back to square one.” Most of the time that story is driven by judgment and shame - not reality.

At The TARA Clinic we teach a different approach. We help people stay in the driver’s seat by learning what to expect, having a fast plan for action, and practising how to stabilise - so a wobble becomes information, not a life sentence.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about being prepared.

Judgment pants vs reality pants (the mindset shift that matters)

When something happens, you have two choices.

Judgment pants sound like:

“I’ve ruined everything.”
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m weak.”

These thoughts fuel shame and make the cycle worse.

Reality pants sound like:

“Something happened. I need to understand it.”
“This is information.”
“I can respond to this.”
Reality pants keep you in problem-solving mode - and that’s exactly where change happens.

Treat lessons as data. Not punishment.

Lessons are learning - not proof you failed

If something goes off track, your job is to learn what happened so you can strengthen the plan.

Ask specific questions:

What in the environment made the behaviour that I didn't want easier to occur?
What self-sabotaging decisions happened in the days before?
What was going on inside - stress, tiredness, big feelings, cravings?

Answering these honestly gives clarity - and clarity gives the power to protect yourself next time.

Lapse management is prevention too

Most people only think about lapse management after a lapse. That’s backwards.

We build loss-prevention and risk-reduction into your life so you can interrupt the slide earlier - and if something does happen, you already know the practical steps to stabilise.

Two priorities:

Action first - change the situation fast.
Support second - reach out and stay connected while you stabilise.

Step 1: Action (do this immediately)

When panic hits, people freeze. The first priority is a practical action you can take now.

Common, reliable actions:

Leave the setting - go somewhere different that is specific and safe.
Remove access - get rid of the items or remove the opportunity.
Change your environment - get to a cafe, a friend’s house or go for a walk.
Use transport you’ve pre-arranged - don’t rely on thinking in the moment, have an early exit strategy already planned.

This is why an Emergency Escape Plan matters: when you’re activated you want to act without struggling for motivation.

Emergency Escape Plan - make it concrete

Where will you go? (name a place)
How will you get there? (phone a ride, have a transport app ready)
What will you do in the first 10-30 minutes? (breathing practice, tea, sit in a car, call a friend, call the ADIS Phone line)
What will you remove or lock away to prevent a continuation?

Write it down. Keep it somewhere easy to find (some people make it their screen saver on their phone).

Step 2: Support (do this after action)

Once you’ve taken action, get support. Don’t isolate.

Support options:

Call a trusted person and tell them the situation.
Be physically with someone who helps you feel safe.
Text or use a crisis line if you don’t have someone available.
Book a quick clinician check-in - even a 20-minute call can help you reframe and plan.

Support matters most when you’ve recently used, you’re craving, you’re overwhelmed, or you feel on the edge of spiralling.

Active reflections — use these to learn (do them honestly)

If you’re working through this topic, complete these reflections. They turn a lapse into a lesson.

Have you experienced a lapse, relapse, or recycling in the last 3 months? - Record the facts.
What happened right before it? - Where were you, who were you with, what were you thinking?
What do you believe caused you to act in that moment? - Be specific (e.g., “I felt rejected and panicked”).
What decision point happened earlier than the behaviour itself? - Often the lapse starts with the first compromise, well before the actual use.
Look at the weeks leading up - did you drift away from structure or stop basic supports?
What did you do, if anything, to manage the situation once it happened? - Even imperfect actions are useful data.
What did you learn? - This is the turning point: an honest, specific insight.
What 24/7 support services and personal contacts are available to you? - List them now, for example:
1. GambleAware: 1800 858 858 (24/7)
2. Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS): 1800 250 015 (24/7)
3. Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
4. Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7)
What will you do next time? - Write an action plan: immediate steps, support steps, environmental changes, and the first tool you’ll use.
What will “move on” look like for you? - Extract the lesson, tighten the plan, return to your structure without shame.

Put these somewhere you can access when you need them.

A quick example lapse plan (so you can copy it now)

If a lapse happens:

Leave the party - go somewhere safe and secure away from people who are unhelpful in that moment.
Call your Emergency Contact (pre-arranged) or a crisis 24/7 support line and say: “I need 20 minutes.”
Remove access - lock your car keys in your friend's car or ask a friend to hold your wallet and/or phone.
Sit for 10 minutes and do a breathing reset (Counting the colours you can see around you, or doing box breathing are great options).
Book a same-day clinician check-in or call a crisis line if you feel unsafe.

Simple. Fast. Practised.

Why this works

Panic reduces our ability to think. A clear, pre-made action plan bypasses the panic. Then connection and support help you stabilise and reflect. Repetition of small stabilising actions expands your capacity to tolerate discomfort - and that’s the point of recovery work. Remember, discomfort is often the brain perceiving a change to your normal... and that is what you are going for! So discomfort is often a sign of progress early on. Lean into it.

If you need immediate medical help

If you have medical withdrawal risk or feel physically unwell, seek urgent care or call emergency services on 000. This blog is educational - it’s not a substitute for immediate medical advice.

Next step - make your plan and test it

Build your Emergency Escape Plan now. Put it where you can find it. Practice a delay or distraction for three days and track one binary check: did you follow the plan? Y/N. Then book one confidential check-in to talk it through with a clinician if you feel unsure.

If you want tools, templates and a simple quiz that helps point you to the right next step, try our quick Stress-Coping Reliance quiz. It’s a short, practical way to see which supports and strategies will help you most right now.
👉 https://www.thetaraclinic.com/quiz

Final note: This topic isn’t here to scare you. It’s here to make sure a wobble doesn’t equal derailment. If something happens, you can act with clarity, structure and leadership - and keep moving forward.