“Fuck addiction - and fuck its stigma.” - There... I said it!

Why reframing addiction changes everything

Quick takeaway: Shame and stigma are part of the problem. Addiction is a learned, practical way people avoid discomfort — not proof they’re weak or defective. If we stop treating it like a moral failure and start teaching the skills that actually keep people afloat, more people will get help sooner.

“Fuck addiction and its stigma - there, I said it.”

Words like that sting because the public conversation still looks like an old campaign poster: “Just say no.” “What is it costing you?” The message beneath those slogans is loud and cruel:

• You’re weak if you have an addiction.

• You’re an idiot if you don’t stop.

• Something must be fundamentally wrong with you.

Those messages aren’t just unfair - they actively stop people from getting help. A long line of research shows stigma makes people less likely to disclose substance use, less likely to seek help early, and more likely to delay support until things are much worse.  

A different picture: the snorkel, not the shame

Imagine you’re ten metres under water with only goggles on and you're holding your breath. You can see, but you’re scared, it’s cold, and you're not sure what to do. Everyone else looks like they’re coping fine (because in this analogy we all live underwater) - so people assume it’s just the willpower or desire for a better life that you lack. But without the appropriate tools, you can only hold your breath for so long before racing to the surface. 

The safer, kinder way: teach people to snorkel first

If you wouldn’t throw someone straight into the deep end and expect them to flourish, don’t expect it from early recovery either. Start on the surface:

• Learn to snorkel - small, repeatable skills that let you manage urges and discomfort without dramatic upheaval.

• Then free-dive - practise deeper coping skills and tolerances.

• When you’re ready, go to scuba - robust strategies for long-term exploration and confidence underwater.

Progress is sequential and skill-based. That’s how sustainable change happens.

Practical, non-shameful steps to start snorkelling today

Here are simple things anyone can try straight away - no lectures, no drama.

1. Name the moment. Before the behaviour, note the feeling in one word: anxious, bored, tired. Naming breaks the autopilot.

2. Delay, Distract, Decide. Give yourself one simple rule - delay for 10 minutes; distract with a short action; decide later.

3. Micro-rituals that replace the function. If the behaviour soothes stress, choose a 5-10 minute replacement that’s reliably soothing (hot shower, walk, 5-minute breathing). Practise it.

4. Binary tracking. Each night ask: “Did I follow my plan today? Y/N.” Track for two weeks. Data beats moralising.

5. Ask for one confidential check-in. One short clinical or coaching call can speed learning and keep safety in view.

These are snorkelling skills - simple, practical, repeatable.

Stigma does real clinical harm

People living with problematic alcohol and other drug use commonly report stigma and discrimination across health care, employment and community settings. That stigma reduces willingness to disclose use and contributes to later help-seeking and poorer care. Changing language, practice, and expectations in clinical services and community conversations measurably improves help-seeking and outcomes.  

(If you want the full references for every paper I used to check this, they are listed below.)

Why I’m saying it out loud - and why you might hear from me more

I forgot my why once... worrying about how I looked or sounded instead of my mission. I won’t do that again.

I’ll be doing short videos and posts that teach these practical steps. No shame, no flash moralising, just small, repeatable skills you can use. I want to normalise learning the snorkelling skills so fewer people drown quietly.

If you want to follow along, the best way is to follow The TARA Clinic on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram or TikTok. I post tools, short practices and real-life examples that make the work practical. If you prefer small, private steps, try our New Stress-Coping Reliance Quiz or book a confidential Personal Recovery Assessment. 

If you’re worried about being judged - this is for you

Most people we work with are employed full-time and highly capable. They don’t need shame; they need clear steps that respect their life and reputation. You can change without losing what matters to you. The point isn’t to remove all discomfort forever - it’s to widen your options so discomfort no longer controls your choices.

Join the conversation - or do it quietly

If this landed for you, try one snorkel skill today. If you want public accountability, follow the short daily videos. If you want private support, use the Stress-Coping Reliance Quiz or book a confidential assessment. Either way - you deserve a method that works, not a label that shames.

Find more Free Resources: https://www.thetaraclinic.com/resources 
 

Complete our new Stress-Coping Reliance Quiz: https://www.thetaraclinic.com/quiz 

Personal Recovery Assessment: Book using this link

Tara
Clinical Director, The TARA Clinic
“Find Recovery, Your Way”

Refs:

• Lancaster K, Seear K, Ritter A. Reducing stigma and discrimination for people experiencing problematic alcohol and other drug use — report for the Queensland Mental Health Commission.  

• Australian Drug Foundation — AOD stigma mini-bulletin.  

• Hammarlund et al., review on stigma and help-seeking (2018).