How White Lies Can Save You From White Lines

accountability Dec 06, 2022

Over time we have trained the people around us as well as ourselves to have certain expectations of us. Things like the roles we play at social gatherings, the places we go and interactions we have, they all have become an expectation through practice and repetition.

So, you are now motivated to reduce your drug use, release alcohols grasp on you or finally get a handle on your porn, gambling or other unhelpful behaviour. Though you keep on setting the intention of saying no when temptation arises, and falling short each time. The issue is when the goal is to say no, you are relying solely on willpower and if you are not well practiced at saying no you are setting yourself up for failure. 


Willpower is like a muscle, after a while it fatigues. 


The great news is, if we have trained ourselves to be one way, then surely by practicing something different we can train ourself to have a different outcome! No one is expecting you to go from 0 to 100 in a matter of weeks.


Early recovery is the first 12 months of active work toward recovery.


During early recovery, many things are going to feel uncomfortable especially if this involves you going against the grain. There is even an evolutionary reason for why this feels so uncomfortable. In the ugg-ugg days when we had Saber Tooth Tigers trying to attack us, humans were safer in groups. In order to assure your safety within a group, it is your role to minimise conflict. Therefore saying no to a group of people or to ourselves following years of us behaving one way is going to be difficult. Refusal skills are effective for the way in which we say no. 


Assertively communicating a white lie will result in a win-win outcome. 


When you are assertive you allow for each party to have a respectful interaction. Keep it simple...


When you do not assertively communicate, you are passive. Passive communication results in you not getting what you want from the situation. Saying yes all the time, can result in you feeling unimportant or like you are being walked over. When you are being assertive you will feel calm, grounded and sure of yourself. This shift will have a positive impact on your relationships.

There is a lot to learn about communication. Getting a clear and practical guide to interpersonal communication doesn't need to be difficult. Learn how to effectively interact with others and why language is so important with our on-demand communication course.


 With the collaboration of the clinical team, this article was written by Olivia Burns.